In case you hadn’t noticed, the goalies on your teams use their hands all the time. Hardly anybody ever scores a goal in soccer so obviously this works. And Uruguay’s Luis Suarez, who plays the position of “thwacker” or “slacker” or something, used his hands to defeat Ghana and was carried off the field in triumph. (Why a triumph over Ghana was a cause for celebration I’m not sure. Poor Ghana has been triumphed over by British, Portuguese, German, Dutch and Danish colonialists, the Kwame Nkrumah regime, a CIA-sponsored coup and at least four other coups just since the 1900s. But I guess this is a separate question from why people don’t use their hands in soccer.)
— As the World Cup Ends, How to Make Soccer Less Boring - PJ O’Rourke
I post just because I find PJ O’Rourke funny, not because I dislike soccer (I’ve watched nearly every WC game…)
